I really love my job, no sarcasm there. I have worked hard to achieve what I have. I started close to the bottom and it has been a slow climb to get to this mid-point. Mostly, because I didn’t even know I wanted to be here. Growing up I always loved the outdoors. I wanted to be a marine biologist, but I kept having the same dream over and over that I was drowning. If I can use the premonition excuse I will. It somehow works for all those superstitious people in the world. I get that “awe, she had a dream, but she didn’t want to die fulfilling it” look. I maybe misinterpreting that a bit. It is probably the look of ” this lady is bat shit crazy!” I am not really sure because I get those two mixed up more often than not.
It seems like if you are a woman (not to be confused with a feminist in the crazy pink labia wearing democratic sense) the more you are driven the more it is interpreted as a negative. When men are driven it is interpreted a whole lot different and usually positive. The reality is, I just want to be a success at whatever I make an attempt at doing. I actually had an employee ask me if I was pregnant because I was emotional (not crying) when I was discussing my passion regarding a project. I shouldn’t have engaged the question, but I did. I replied HELL NO! His reply, keep trying! I somehow think that was inappropriate. I have never asked my bosses if they were pregnant. On another note, I am past the baby making stage after all, I am 29!
I think that we are equal in the workplace, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. It is the struggle to prove you can do something and do it well. In honor of the upcoming nurses week, I want to say thank you to all the nurses out there who have helped me reach this point. We are in a female dominated job, which is sometimes a very big plus, and sometimes not!
Midlife Ahead 