I think of all the things that I have put off over time.I can’t help but wonder is it ever too late? I sit here writing this and all I can think about is all the homework I should be doing for my master’s class. Come Wednesday, I will be in complete panic mode and by Sunday, unbearable. This is just what I do. I think that I have just adjusted my life to this pattern and I hate it! I absolutely hate it! I just get so overwhelmed that I feel stuck. It truly is a sick feeling that sits in your soul like bad Chinese food on Christmas.
I don’t know why I chose that analogy, I’ve never had Chinese on Christmas, but a lot of people do so I hope they can relate. Recently, my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer and she is now going through chemo and radiation. It sucks, cancer sucks, asking yourself, ” is it ever too late” sucks. The answer is YES. Yes, it can be too late. She was a 1/2 pack a day smoker for 45 years, quit in 1990. For her, it was too late to quit. The damage was done. She was having chest and back pain for the last year and getting short of breath. The doctors never saw the mass hidden behind her heart thriving in her lung. They were too late finding her deck of cards sitting in her lung, too late to simply remove it and be done. I just hope that this chemo and radiation are not too late. That is what it all boils down to now. Will this treatment be too late?